Chapter 3: A glimpse of the other

There was nothing more to talk about. Destry letting out a sigh leaned completely on the lonely tree tilting her head a bit and though she had gotten used to being with Lyle, she had given meaning to the days of loneliness when Lyle refused to talk or see her. She wasn't the type to go out with different girls, at least... not anymore.

Lyle had met another girl, though Destry had never met her personally. She only saw her one day exiting the campus gates with Lyle and their fellow classmates. Destry then was sitting in the cafe across the gates and saw with her own eyes behind the paned glass windows. “Is that the girl?” asked Nalini, or Lini for short. Destry's close friend who still study in the same university. Nalini was older a couple of years but had remained in the university where Destry, had graduated a year ago but now, after a year working has quit her job and is taking a rest. She visits Nalini and Lyle often in campus but that day perhaps was the last day Destry visited Lyle. Nalini is a half Indian and half Filipino descent, hence her peculiar name and rather exotic features.

“She's a hundred-footer, I can't believe it! You are a whole lot prettier and a thousand times better than that girl!” exclaimed Nalini as she sipped from the straw of her cold coffee drink. Destry sitting opposite Nalini simply looked at the girl and Lyle, they simply crossed the street. They didn't see her. The girl has a short hair and was dressed in a boyish manner and walking rather in a manly way.

Destry smiled “There are girls who are like that, at least Lyle didn't have to guess if the girl was a lesbian or not. It screams her sexual orientation, eliminating awkward moments of asking if she were gay.” Destry picked up her espresso cup and took a little drink. “Plus Lyle told me that she likes the girl and actually approached her. But the girl has a girlfriend or something like that.” Destry explained to Nalini who made a reaction of repulsion. “What?! Seriously? You have got to be kidding me! Isn't she your girl?” Nalini continued “Well what did you do? Or even say?”

“Nothing.” Destry said.

The coldness drifted in the air and the stars above glimmered silently and oblivious to both Destry and Lyle.

“So, what now?” Lyle said putting her box of cigarette in the car and closing the door. Destry got up and smiled, walking towards Lyle and halting a few feet away, said “We remain friends.”

Destry drew closer to Lyle and embraced her as she always had. Pressing her body close and Lyle received her. Destry held Lyle longer, there was a bit of sadness but she brushed it off, it has to be this way for the sake of her freedom. So that a new beginning may arise, a new opportunity to welcome her. Also, she didn't want to hinder Lyle on anything, if she believed she's going to be better and happier with the other, then perhaps it's her role to help out as well. Why would she prevent a beautiful flower from blooming? Why prevent, perhaps an interesting relationship to happen? Even if she doesn't know what's happening between Lyle and the other. Is she sure they're happy?

Destry slowly planted a small kiss on Lyle's cheek.“I'm taking you home.” 

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Index:

Prologue: Lyle

Chapter 1: Destry

Chapter 2: The One

Chapter 3: A glimpse of the other 

Author's Comment:

Perhaps I should clean up and refine my short stories. Perhaps when I finally get to work on it at home and when I get my LCD screen back from Zeus.

How to help the Philippines survive with you walking around: A young Filipino guide to living in modern times

We now live in the modern world where uncouthness is the predominant trait seen in people. Where people continue to yap endlessly for everyone to hear in movie theaters or someone in the bus who won't move over to the side so you can't sit and people borrowing money with no effort and intention of paying you back, among others. People had forgotten how to be noble and where respect is a rare gem found in others.

In Manila where everyone came from different walks of life, how will they survive a day with you walking around and breathing the same polluted air they do? People will then be scratching their skull asking themselves if you are a what you are - a true savage. In which case, their nice and civil otherwise they would be cursing you and tagging humiliating photos of you on Facebook.

So as not to let everyone perceive that you have sold your soul to the devil and make it appear it's still intact then observing etiquette and certain guidelines to dealing with people will certainly alleviate misery in our daily routine from commuting, ordering food, to totally abusive friends and colleagues. Knowing when to give your seat to an elderly, when not to say anything, when to pick up the tab at dinner and knowing how to break up properly with someone.

Knowing exactly how to break it properly will separates the wheat from the chaff. Let us start taking a step on the road to nobility and honor.

Focusing first on how to deal with people you are dating and not dating. This is a part of the modern guideline that is mainly based on my friends' expert advice, insights and experiences since I am very bad with dating and I practically don't know a thing about it.

*I will only be poking on the matter of homosexual dating and relationships since I know there would be several guidelines out there about heterosexual dating everywhere. Although some rules can still apply to heterosexuals.

1. Assume Nothing. That's final. Since both of you are going to be of the same sex, a simple gesture of dinner sometimes can only mean friendship and a bonding time and not exactly a date. So it is always better to – read no. 2 below.
2. Make things clear. Is this a date? Before asking that question, first ask, is the person I'm going out with gay/lesbian?? It would certainly be strange if you are going out with a straight person, closets should at least be out to themselves.
   I was a douche before so people have received a rather unclear and annoying answer when they asked me the “Is this a date?” question. I would say “I don't know” or shrug “I don't care” and friends told me I was being callous. I apologize (bow)
3. Don't be absurd. You don't have the right to be jealous what so ever despite the fact you've been having dinner frequently. Accosting the other about he/she dating someone else is beyond your limit. Unless you have told her or him that she or he is the lesbian or queer of your life then shut your trap, you're not the girlfriend/boyfriend yet. Bringing up that topic of he or she seeing others has a certain guideline. If you are serious about it then do it properly by asking the other to dinner or having a talk, express and explain your feelings that you're jealous and it hurts and duh, you want exclusivity. Pointing out you're jealous but don't want exclusivity is preposterous and ridiculous.
4. Who pays dinner/picks up the bill? Or any meal for that matter? Since most of my friends are straight girls, they always never pay for dinner, the guy would, despite the girl asking for dinner, pay for dinner. But what if you're both male or both female? Now, this simply boils down to Who asked for dinner or the date. There were times that even if someone asked me out I insist to pay for dinner. There was also a time where the other one paid for everything despite her being asked out by me, I didn't throw a fit but I insisted to pay at least even just my own meal. She didn't let me and I guess she had her way if that was what she wants. It didn't just take guts to ask her, it took a whole lot of everything and a brave soul to ask her out and I don't just go asking someone out. I didn't know what to make of it but it made me feel like jumping off from the highest floor of Shangri-la Plaza to eventually smash by skull near the fountain below. If you were the “askee” I think it's just right to let the “asker” pay and sit prettily at the opposite end of the table.
   If the 'asker' refuses to pick up the tab then you can at the very least pay for your own meal and it's up to you to take it out on the 'asker'. Don't ever voice out that the 'asker' is a cheapskate.
5. What should you do if a straight girl/guy wants to ask you out? Simple, say no. Unless you're bisexual or still confused. If you want to be friends with them tell them you will hang out but only as friends, do this if you are emotionally detached and don't care what the other is feeling, hurt or happy or both. Or you could get your other friends to come along totally eliminating the possibility of a date or just simply say no.
6. Don't flirt, excessively. If you want to ask someone out, flirting with them excessively can mean you only want a one night thing, unless that's what you want then carry on. Flirting is fun but not when done in excess. I never take flirts seriously, ever. They will remain in the air they made out to be.

This way you will not only be saving time but save the effort from yourself and others and promote world peace.

I suppose I should ask my LGBTQ friends about tips since consulting straight friends won't help much and I simply have no idea about dating. And I am not an exception in committing dating faux pas but I'm trying to change at the very least.

Next guideline will be posted soon. Perhaps on public transportation or dealing with abusive user friends.

If you have questions, comments and tips if you may, please comment or send me message.

"A-Soap" Chapter 2: The One

Destry was the one.

The one you won't end up with. Period. It's not because she's evil or she is simply a hideous person. It is so, because Destry won't wish it upon herself to be tied down to someone for the longest time. Didn't she play a good role and now it's going to end. All she had with Lyle is nothing more than a game, a silly play she acted as girlfriend. The worst thing was it brought her harm than good. ~

For Lyle insisted she was still hungry then Destry suggested to have dinner somewhere else, they are now speeding through the highway in Destry's Sedan. She realized as she drove the car along the road that this won't be easy, that Lyle as much as she'd hate it would eventually throw a fit and be totally irrational on the matter.

So she made dinner to be a bit quicker by not speaking too much and not bringing up the topic of splitting.

Destry paid for dinner and they went back to Destry's car and she insisted to take Lyle home since it was getting a bit dark but of course before that happens, Destry parked the car a bit near Lyle's place on a hill where one can view the town's landscape. It was just off a few meters along the highway where a lonely tree stood. Destry and Lyle went outside, Destry walked over to the tree and Lyle leaned on the side of the car and lighted a cigarette.

Destry looked at Lyle as smokes escape her mouth. She looked at the distance and the flickering lights and felt the coolness of the evening on her cheeks. She felt a bit of contempt coming from Lyle, she took a deep breath and started to speak. She looked neutral with her eyebrows almost trying to reach other.

“I know it's over... but we're still friends right?” She leaned on the tree and both her hands at her back, with the palms against the tree.

“Yeah, I guess it is...” Lyle pressed the cigarette to her lips again. “Is it possible to be friends still?” asked Destry. Though Destry never liked smokers then again she never liked Lyle to be her girlfriend and wasn't it only through a form of pathetic coercion did she date Lyle?

Destry tried not to be sad since they'll probably hang out and see each other as friends anyway.

Destry in the past months had tried to break up with Lyle and failed, miserably. She wanted a break up where Lyle won't try to end up crying and before, her attempts only ended up in a very dramatic moment where Lyle even tried to slit her wrists. Destry didn't want any drama and as much as possible wished it to be smooth and easy. She was always threatened by Lyle that she would end her pathetic existence if she dared leave her. It was an in-your-face display of selfishness and insecurity from Lyle.

It wasn't later that Destry had realized what an emotional vampire Lyle had become, from a jealous and clingy girlfriend she had become a jealous-clingy-suicidal-emotional vampire girlfriend.

It was just too much to handle and Destry wanted freedom, she couldn't have Lyle eat away her life.

And this became easier now since a rather interesting event happened a month back.

Someone has another girl.

-------------------------------

Author's Comment: Totally raw...

Index:
Prologue: Lyle
Chapter 1: Destry
Chapter 2: The One

Go to next chapter:
Chapter 3: A glimpse

Starving Writer Struggle

“Artists starve for the love of Art.”

Quite literally.

My long time friend, Zeus, who's a painter and lives just ten minutes away from my home in Laguna is one of the friends I support and I believe he dreams to be a national artist in the Philippines someday, aside from that he loves to paint and has a career out of it.

Not a lot of my friends have dreams like that and I would like to help out, in whatever means I can.

To mention, not a lot of people have goals or dreams almost similar to mine or his(I'm not about to discuss my dreams but uhhh yeah I do have them). Now, I see people my age go about each day without realizing their dreams. They walk nonsensically day to day without trying to look into the vignettes of their future. No wonder there aren't a lot of people who are happy with their jobs, despite it paying better than mine. People who find it a bit challenging to get their diplomas (probably because they don't like the course they took). And halts to complete silence when asked “What's your dream/goal/plan in the future?”

It puzzles me that somehow they don't know the answer to that simple question. It's like not knowing oneself and is ignorant of one's purpose.

Zeus, pursues his dream with rackets and projects that would lead him a step further into the road of painting superstardom.

Another friend of mine who has a passion for dancing and acting, used to be a model, but a turn in her fate recently had compromised her dreams. She got knocked up and got married eventually. She told me she still wants to pursue dancing but certain obligations hold her back. We used to share a dream... no, not dancing and acting but the dream of supporting each other in pursuing our own goals, to be there in and bask in the struggles and petty achievements along the road. She was my best friend.

But we're young and I know there's still time for her to achieve her dreams and I'd still support her, nothing has changed in me.

Last Sunday I went to Zeus's house and hanged out til 2am. He was painting 3x3 feet canvas for his upcoming exhibit in Shangri-la plaza. He ranted on the amount that they were going to be paid (and honestly I could earn them in two days) saying that the exhibit don't have enough budget to accommodate what he had requested for the pay and had several issues into taking the project. He was hesitant since the offer was quite minuscule, he might as well hit himself with a huge lump of rock to the head.

“It's Shangri-la Plaza for crying out loud!” - not exactly what he said.

He has been working freelance for about 5 years and counting, he never took any job that would sway away from his career and he may not be richer now and sometimes he would go to desperate measures just to meet a deadline.

My freelance days are over. I work in an office in Diliman since I find it hard to drag myself to the computer despite it just sitting next to the bed. I needed an office in which I'd be pressured to work in.

“Dreamless people starve for the lack of Art”

Not literally.

Dreamless people aren't creative, much like a rolling ball with not much of a direction and they are everywhere. They are purposeless, thinks rhythmic greeting cards are a fine work of art, poetry-ish.

Rarely do they amount to anything but would as much as, perhaps to suck the marrows out of their parent's bank account in order to sustain their lifestyle. They have no drive, no passion to fuel their means and nothing to burn for their souls.

However most of them have resources which in turn would be a lot of help for Zeus and I. Some of them have everything, yet nothing to create with. They lack the ability to create.

That Sunday evening at Zeus' house we prepared coffee. My first coffee since I discovered I shouldn't indulge too much on it since it's quite hazardous to my health.

I know very well, pursuing a career in writing won't probably make me a millionaire. My mum told me she thought I'd be a painter or illustrator someday and my english teacher back in high-school wrote at the back of my notebook “You will be a writer someday.”

It probably won't feed me and my future partner. We would starve perhaps?

I would still write despite the empty stomach the same as my friend would paint despite the lack of sleep.

I'm taking a step on the road of my writing career. I know it's going to be hard and I'm only taking a few steps... yet my stomach is already grumbling.

What's your dream?

"A-Soap" Chapter 1: Destry

Destry knew something was wrong. She doesn't have to feign naivete but she doesn't have to fret about it either. That is why she had taken the initiative to drop the 4 dreaded words “Can we talk?”, apparently those were the words that Destry told Lyle in a text message, only comprised of three words. It was supposed to be the “We need to talk.” phrase, which was originally her dreaded words. She changed it since those four words connote something negative. At times, those words were enough to bring in the bad news and it's always followed by a similarly bad and lame random excuse. I'm not going to be like that she told herself and she would in all her strength, remain friends with Lyle.

Nonetheless she was answered by Lyle that it had to wait since she was busy with her projects and other things.

And so she waited. She's never the one to argue, to bring something up just to satisfy herself or make a fuss over something. She kept to herself and as weeks went by without any sort of communication from Lyle, she knew it was over. At least she would like to think of it that way.

She went on with her usual habits during the week and called Lyle if they could finally talk if she's not busy anymore. Thankfully the day has come to settle and make things clear.

Destry now stood across a rather shabby food house off the outskirts of town. She saw at the other side of the paned glass that Lyle was sitting in one of the tables at the back. Lyle insisted on meeting here and perhaps it was a regret of letting her get her ways. She entered and walked past the eating construction workers and jeepney drivers on other tables. These men can't help but stare at Destry and some of them obviously made second glances.

Destry smiled but it wasn't her usual smile, it was simpler and quite unfamiliar.

Lyle was wearing a shirt, a pair of pants and flip flops. Her hair was tied in a pony tail. Destry was wearing her usual button down shirt in white and with the sleeves rolled up to her arms almost to her elbows and a pair of shorts, she's walking in a pair of gray casual shoes. Originally they were white, however Destry don't have a habit of washing her shoes from the first wear and let it that way. So splatters of mud were visible on the surface of the shoes.

She wanted to frown when she saw Lyle. She knew too well Lyle won't be seen eating here and normally Lyle would dress a bit stylish no matter the occasion. However today was different, Lyle had completely became bland.

There has got to be a better way of showing how you don't care Destry thought to herself and took the chair across Lyle, who was listening to her iPod. Lyle took off her earphones and tucked them away in her shoulder bag with cute little cartoon images printed.

“How are you?” Destry started, her wavy hair rested lazily on her shoulders and her dark piercing eyes caught Lyle's. “I'm fine.” said Lyle and even the slight of being upset was detected by Destry's radar.

“I'm hungry.” Lyle said “Buy me something.” Never had Destry heard Lyle command her to do something similar to what just happened now. It was always Destry who would pick up the tab and would offer things. And Lyle would always ask nicely or not at all. “Alright then, what do you want?” she yielded to her orders and bought a bottle of softdrinks and a pack of chips. No worries, her arteries are as good as clogged... Maybe not. These aren't exactly enough to clog them.

She returned to the table and laid the bottle and snack on the table. Lyle looked at the bottle and with her right index finger she said “There's no straw?”

Destry hasn't even taken her seat yet “I think now is a good moment to give mother earth a break with plastics, imagine as we speak polar bears are drowning in the north pole” said Destry as she took her seat.

This didn't struck Lyle as something to worry about, in fact she thought at that moment what Destry said was senseless but later on she would understand what it meant.

“Fine.” Lyle said and started eating the chips and drinking the beverage.

Truly Lyle is acting peculiar and the absence of her presence in the past weeks only puzzled Destry. Not knowing what had happened in the past three weeks she could only think of one thing. It has to end, at least they must tell each other its over and they can go back to being friends, like before. Then again Lyle has the habit of acting weird when circumstances don't require her to.

Just like that time where she and Lyle were simply hanging out in a park in uptown Middleton Park, just 30 minutes from Destry's house and an hour and half for Lyle. They were reading books in a quiet serenity of nature with the sounds of chirping birds, when out of nowhere Lyle said “You don't love me...” There was a long pause where no one spoke a word, Destry putting her book down looked at Lyle in the eyes, with no trace of reaction on her face. They both waited, Lyle for a response and Destry, for a miraculous power to transport her to another place but here. Destry then bursts into a string of laughter.

Destry looked at Lyle across the table. She wasn't bad looking but Destry had dated better looking girls.

She took a deep breath and said “I guess you know very well why I want to talk to you...”

Before Destry could utter another word, Lyle cut her off “I'm still hungry” she said.

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Author's Comment:

Prologue:Lyle

Chapter 1: Destry
Go to next chapter:
Chapter 2: The One

A continuation of "A-Soap" a series of short stories I've been inspired to do. 

1st draft, no I have no plan yet on making other drafts or totally refining them, which I should really work on. I shouldn't really post raw stories, here goes. Well since I do this only for fun perhaps I should just leave it at that, for fun. 

Next chapter to be posted soon. 

Chapter 2: The One

Lyle: Prologue of "A-Soap"

A girl with long black hair and fair skin sat in a table collecting and placing items in a box, a bit smaller than a shoe box made out of recycled paper in a rather very common brown color. She placed the last item, a key-chain of a tea pot charmed with several hanging tiny little tea cups.

The stringed item laid among the other trinkets and several framed photos of two young girls, smiling and laughing in other frames with occasional holiday cards.

She noticed there weren't really a lot of things in the box and quickly after realizing it and perhaps deeming the past to be empty as well, covered the box.

Her common looking eyes drifted on the empty space before her, thinking what to do with the box. Throw it away or give it back? Quickly she turned to her left while at the same time she grabbed the box, she knelt next to the bed and pushed the box underneath it.

She then lied on her bed, stared into the ceiling and pondered on what to do. She didn't want to see her, but she'd have to eventually, perhaps too soon, give back her music CDs and PS2 game titles back.

In her quiet little room she held herself still. She heard a few knocks on her door and a few seconds later her mom opened it, a woman who looked a bit young for her age with short brown hair, held the same eyes as her, the lady enters the room “Lyle, it's Destry on the phone”

Lyle sat up with no more than an enthusiasm of a ten year old waking up to go to school in the morning. She took the phone and her mom left. Pressing the plastic wireless phone to her left ear and waited, she didn't want to say a word. “...Lyle? I can hear you breathing. “ a voice spoke at the other end of the line.

~End of Prologue

Go to next chapter:
Chapter 1: Destry

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Author's comment:
This is a group of short stories that I am doing right now among others. This is the first draft and well I just want to post it so my friends can read it.
Past were the days where I recite poetry to my close friends, we are no longer in sync with the time and place and could only see each other on occasions.

I can't help but miss them sometimes but such is the time of struggles for all of us. Trying to make something out of ourselves, something great... perhaps is a priority weighing heavy on our shoulders, but heavier on mine.
I need to work hard since I have no choice, I'd rather eat paper than have my parents back me. Therefore life is hard on me yet I carry myself proud, I am a self-made person.
Anyhows... next chapter is: "Destry: Chapter 1" will be posted soon in the "A-Soap" collection.

Am I addicted to games? again..?

It has become apparent that I could be suffering from problem gaming. It seems that I have failed to do some of my duties and other things since I'm so enthralled into beating Monster Hunter Freedom Unite(MHFU), a PSP title that became a really hit in Japan, was the number 1 game for the portable device for sometime too.

When I noticed I forget things and have failed to feed my cat, which I realized just a day after leaving Laguna, I asked myself “Could I be addicted to Gaming?”

Now being aware of oneself is a good step towards wisdom and I should know myself very well.

I try to play whenever I get the chance, I try to eat lunch as quick as I can, more like inhaling my lunch. After having lunch I make use of the remaining break time to complete a quest from MHFU. And where should I play undisturbed away from eyes of people? At the end of the building where I work is a somehow quiet restroom, cleaner than the one near the entrance and there I lock myself in one of the cubicles, put the toilet seat and lid down, sit and play. The only downside to the place is that since it is rather isolated and rarely visited, it is the one rest room that people loves to take their dumps.

On a rare occasion, someone thought she was all alone in the room and didn't notice I was in a cubicle at the far end. She quickly locked herself in one of the cubes and as I heard it with my ears, she lifted the toilet seat with a very quick manner, it seems also that she was in a hurry and the next thing I heard was a woman, grunting and almost moaning. Of course I know exactly was happening and before the funky smell would stick to my clothes. I went outside, pausing my game and looking for a new place to play.

When I get to Mandaluyong, currently where I'm staying during weekdays, I simply sit around my room and play until the time comes for me to sleep. There were times that I wish I don't have to sleep anymore but alas, I have work the next morning.

I haven't found a solution but I promise to do the things I should have been doing. But here are the list that made realize I have been totally engulfed into gaming mode:

1. Forgot to feed cat despite it “meowing” the whole day in front of me

2. Forgotten to change bed sheets.

3. Didn't bring sufficient clothes to Mandaluyong

4. Went to friend's house to hang out but played game still

5. Friend says “You haven't been dating anyone” (Apparently I'm very busy... playing games and other reasons. I could have easily asked someone else out but I choose not to and I don't want to go out since the last time.)

6. It's the only thing I think about... not really. Hahaha! But it's one of the things.

I still haven't come up with a solution, but I shall try to do other things. In any case, if anyone wants to play a group game of MHFU which is pretty capable in the PSP then send me a message.

The game is pretty addictive with 300+ hours of gameplay (Been playing for 150+ hours and still not bored) The player sets out to vanquishing and capturing dragons and other monsters and literally wearing their skin with various weapons to choose from, I choose the bow and dual blades despite the inability to block. Perhaps one should try playing the game and understand that it's not just one of those cheesy Final Fantasy games. :B

P.S. Perhaps this is what a friend of mine was saying when I told him he can borrow my PS2. He might just use to escape from reality... he was supposed to get it fixed. 

I wish time would simply slow down or stop when I'm playing since I know there are a lot of things I better be doing but its sort of hard... Sigh.

Then again I haven't really stopped reading books, almost done with Animal Farm and The man who mistook his wife for a hat. Only get to read them at work hehe.

I tend to read books simultaneously, shifting from one book to the next every 5 minutes. That's how I watch movies and play games too, sometimes switching to Deception III Dark Delusions.