Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The landlady from the colder regions of the earth.

I know I shouldn’t be writing about this, but I’m a writer. I can write whatever I want to, let’s assume this is an exercise shall we?

Much to my disdain to spill information about myself, I just have to let perhaps a leak and hopefully some of you would find this entertaining. I do not wish to evoke negative feelings, at least not on this one.

I must say that as a starving writer, I have limited myself from activities that would drain my bank account (which recently refused to cough up money for some unknown reasons). Therefore I cook for myself, go to the market and choose ingredients that wouldn’t hurt my pockets as much. I’m vegetarian so food is rather more expensive and harder to get by than the average omnivore.

Let us move forward to the subject at hand. My land-lady, or the one who owns the unit I’m renting in Mandaluyong is quite young, she’s only 24 after all but I’m not exactly sure when she will turn 25 and I don’t want to know. I stay in one of the condominium communities in Mandaluyong where the mental asylum is in our neighborhood.

I have been staying there for a couple of months and I have no complaints. Though interestingly enough there were events I find as an anomaly to my well-being.
In the unit there are three rooms, I stay in one and share it with a roommate I barely see since she works at night. Me? Work by day? No, I don’t work… I hang out at the office and surf the net.

Before, it was just me, my non-existent roomie, the landlady and her sisters (who barely stay there) perhaps destiny had a hand in this. I can tell from the beginning that my landlady seems pretty lonely and depressed. I was never the one to really care what she’s doing but a few months ago she has no work and simply watches TV the whole day and night drinking cola until she passes out. She’s talkative and complaints a lot, we used to have a maid and she complaints about her a lot.
One thing I noticed was that she’s incurably dishonest, such as telling potential tenants in the other room that there is no more space left but one, when in fact the room was empty.

One time for some unknown reason, she used our bathroom, she has her own so I don’t understand what she’s doing in our bathroom. She didn’t lock the door and it was one beautiful morning. I got up and went straight to the bathroom to wash my face. I knocked in case someone was there. No one answered so I figured it should be clear, but then when I opened the door I was surprised to see my landlady on the throne smoking. She closed the door immediately and I went back to my bed thinking it was just a dream.

The next thing I know was, our maid telling me I could use the bathroom upstairs. I suppose it wasn’t a dream after all.

I forgot to mention we also had a dog back then, eventually she was neglected and my roomie couldn’t take care of her so she has to go somewhere else.
The dog was unleashed and is pretty much free to roam around the place. My landlady has a love and hate relationship with the dog. There was a time where she really liked petting the dog, she kneeled on the floor and scratched the little puppy's fur. I was standing and the moment she knelt, since her neckline was quite huge her puny breasts (as I would like to call them) were exposed, just perfect for my angle. Quickly I turned away. She should really wear a bra… Eventually I realized she doesn’t care whether her tiny jugs were seen.

I thought that was the end of it, there was another time that she even bothered to put on a see-through shirt and her teeny weeny tits were just as seen as if she weren’t wearing anything.
I don’t really mind if she wants to walk around our place naked, IF… IF and only if she has the body and a face to match, she’s very skinny with a rather fair complexion, bulging round eyes and lips as though taken from a trout.
I noticed her arms were somehow covered with thick curly hair, explains her half-Egyptian blood.
So the sasquatch, I mean my landlady, despite the Egyptian lineage has a very Filipino, mediocre appeal and personality. She doesn’t like to read, she mentions “nose-bleed” each and every time, claims she’s spiritual (Even if she doesn’t even know what it really means, I must say she’s giving spirituality a bad name), talks and gossips a lot, has no taste for art, blames her parents for what happened to her life, she's a bit homophobic too etc.

I can live with that, I don’t really see her a lot and I don’t have to bother her. However there was a time that she came down to my little space. Comfortably sat on my bed, I don’t really mind, and then lied on it while talking about something that’s enough to put me in a state of comatose.
I was sitting on the foot of my bed as a Native-American would and was holding the book I was reading, while this snoopy landlady of mine who’s seriously needing a friend invaded my bed.
My room then was slightly lit, just enough so I could read a book. So there she was trying to tell me things of no importance, she was so comfortable that an Eagle would have nothing to say on how she had spread her legs before me.
She was wearing a pair of boxer briefs for women where the leg hole was a bit bigger than normal.
I looked out to my window and looked back at her place. I sort of noticed some weird image between her legs. I was wondering if it was just some weird underwear design but much to my surprise and confirmation. My landlady must have never heard of panties and bras…
There before me, was the mouth of the volcano covered in sasquatch fur. It stared back at me for the next thirty minutes. I dared not say anything about it so I pretended I didn’t see it. She kept on talking and complaining...

I suppose it’s good that they don’t really know much about me. Since I keep to myself but it was rather unnecessary that my landlady would go that far to let her anatomy known…

First part ends here.

No comments:

Post a Comment