Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The attack and endless cycle of bigotry

Honestly, I have a rather strong distaste at passing judgment to others. Although I know a lot of my friends who judged others on a whim without thinking twice.
I can’t change them and neither will I try and for one, I can only frown upon it and nothing more. I don’t judge others if I can help it. We can only judge ourselves. 

Judging others will always turn out irrational.

I have a friend(Let’s call her Suzie) and we went to the same university, however she transferred to another university in Manila. So from De La Salle University Dasma she transferred to Adamson University.

A lot of students (coming from the top 3 universities in the country) regard my university, DLSU-D, as nothing better than the schools located in Ubelt, wherever that is. I wanted to be offended but it would take too much energy. La Salle Dasma is a nice place, filled with trees, a football field that actually have grass surviving, wide open space away from polluted air and others. In any case it is incomparable to those universities in Ubelt.
As for me, I don’t care what school you came from, as long as you pursue your dreams no matter the circumstances are and you are trying to be someone. Not some dreamless wretch who lives and breathe purposelessly.

My friend, Suzie, who transferred to Adamson, told us “Students in Adamson University don’t know how to speak English”. Like any rational being I didn’t believe her, not everyone’s good in English in this country despite it shoved to our faces everyday. I know, how can someone not learn English? It’s being choked down our throats since the beginning of time.

I know someone from one of the most prestigious University in the country who says “Open the Tv, Close the Tv, Open the Electric Fan etc” and don’t know what’s wrong with the sentence.Tragic First Language Influence.

One time I left my shoes at Suzie’s place and had to get it back. So I went to her place to discover her Adamson University classmates hanging out in her living room. It was fairly late and decided to stay in for the night. Isn’t it a good chance to see how these students fare?

So there I was sitting in a corner, observing and listening carefully at what they were talking about. There was Roy, Len and Mike(Not their real names, I made them up) and they were talking about how awesome and intelligent their professors were, aside from their profound amazement at Suzie’s place. Roy said I should join in their conversation. I simply smiled in the corner.
Roy said he’s smart and open minded and he speaks great English. He also pronounces sauce as “so-ws”. He said that Boys are for Girls and Girls are for Boys nothing more to it, I applaud his open mindedness. He totally forgot there are gays and lesbians existing in the planet.
Mike on the other hand talked a lot less than Roy, because Roy talks 90% of the time. He said if he weren’t a Catholic he would really like to be a Buddhist.
Len has an evident interest with horoscopes and perceives people as “You are what you’re zodiac sign” approach.
Also all of them, including Suzie (who’s a lesbian by the way) said that homosexuality is a choice.
I told them that it’s not and they all disagreed, because they had a subject in AdU that said so.
“So, those gay people chose to be gay so they can be abused, assaulted and killed by homophobic maniacs?”
Unanimously they all said “Yes.”
The horror, I have never been so appalled by the display of bigotry in my entire life. But I kept to myself. No use arguing with people with false convictions.
I remember very well that Suzie was transferred to another school because of her homosexual relationships… hmmm. I suppose it’s to her design? She probably knows that and chose it to be that way, believing homosexuality is a choice.

Roy also said that I should study philosophy and what ever subject was being taught in their University. Clearly he has no idea what cultural, historical, art, intellectual etc background I possess and how quick was he to judge and tell me what to do. I won’t be an inch convinced even if he learned to speak English on how it should be spoken.

The next day, Suzie asked me if her classmates were "Okay", Okay as friends. I found it interesting that she asked me that question. I choose my friends very well.

Truly the Apocalypse is nigh. 

Friday, October 22, 2010

Movies and Psychopaths


I just saw the movie, The Orphan, last night since it was aired by HBO and I was nailed in front of the television. I already knew the plot that some adopted kid was despicably an evil entity out to wreak havoc and destroy the family who took her in.
There was this girl I dated before who loves horror and gross out movies as much as I do and she told me to watch The Orphan, I guess that encouraged me. Too bad we don’t see or even talk to each other anymore, would really love to tell her what I thought of the movie.
Nonetheless I liked it, it was entertaining and it gave me a few laughs while watching. I liked the girl who played the orphan, she was cute and had an interesting accent (And I love Russian, German etc. accent when they’re speaking in English). That was also the reason why I watched it ‘til the end. I have no patient watching predictable movies. In a show or movie I seek for content, art and execution etc. so I can appreciate it more. Although at times, I simply watch for the stars but how rare of this to happen.

Also before that I saw “Enemy at the Gates” with Jude Law and Rachel Weisz. Loved it. I love movies about war and holocausts. I’m quite excited about the upcoming Saw 3D movie and would really go to the theatres to see it, sigh… gut wrenching terrorized screams. How relaxing…

Alright then, back to my writings.

The orphan’s behavior was psychopathic but as much as I would love to discuss her behavior, psychopaths in our modern society are not necessarily like her, the orphan.
Psychopaths could be your boss, your friend, your mother, your father, your child or the one you sat in the bus with. Psychopaths aren’t always driven on such extreme levels like the orphan or the guy in the popular movie “Psycho”.

Of course in the movie, it had to be driven to such extent to be entertaining however in real life that is not how psychopaths play it. They are not necessarily anti-social and most of the times can get a long well with people. They are not always evil, there are psychopaths who didn’t have to kill just to achieve what they want like con-artists.

And psychopath does not exactly mean they are mad geniuses roaming our land.
Psychopaths are completely devoid of feelings and would stop at nothing for their desires since they lack guilt and conscience that the weight of responsibility and obligation is unknown to them. Since conscience is something that can’t be seen and in a na├»ve’s world, conscience is something thought as universal, psychopaths can easily hide the fact that they are conscious-free with not so much an effort lifting a hair strand.
If a psychopath is a genius it is probably he or she was surrounded with intellectuals and if they’re rich then they are pretty much pre-disposed to it. Like Dr. Hannibal Lecter, now that is one evil genius, he was well educated since he came from a rich family more so.


What makes other psychopaths smart or geniuses is of course their desire to gain knowledge or money just like the next guy. It’s just that they would stop at nothing to gain it. And there are those dimwitted psychopaths who were hill billies roaming around with a gun.
The dumb chainsaw wielding maniac in the Movie “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is a psychopath. It’s not genius when he used other people’s faces as mask, it’s just that he didn’t have the necessary feelings that would complete a morally bounded human being. Respect to life, an original quality of a soul, is missing. Therefore he’s pretty much only limited by his imagination. Which to my opinion is pretty dull, his family has a vast amount of land he can farm or sell and get education or a plastic transplant if he really wanted a pretty face. Then again what was on the movie was nothing more than an exaggeration, something to get the audiences at the edge of their seat. He was too obsessed, too exaggerated to play the role of the psychopath, yet the movie, in one of them, made him look like he had feelings. Think back, a scene where he sees his face and at the sight of it threw a fit of sadness, hatred, disgust and he threw objects and wrecked his place, he even let out a scream or maybe it was a grunt?

I love the franchise though, saw at least 4 movie versions of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, some were hilarious and worth a few laughs.
Most psychopath movies were American Movies, because they have a lot of psychopaths in that country.
Psychopathic movie here in the Philippines: Sigaw with Iza Calzado and Richard Gutierrez, no he wasn’t the psychopath in the movie. I don’t think he can act the part.
Apparently, I think the Philippine Cinema don’t know the profile of a psychopath that is why evil villains here lack the character of one and one can’t exactly diagnose them as psychopaths. The villains here are always portrayed as borderline evil and confused.

More talk next time on Psychopaths, I’m going back to work.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Are you the roommate from hell? How to help the Philippines survive with you walking around: A young Filipino guide to living in modern times

Are you the roommate from hell?
How to help the Philippines survive with you walking around: A young Filipino guide to living in modern times II

AKA "Stay away from my cheese!"
At least if you’re from the lower to middle class citizens of our dear forsaken country then at one time or the other, you would have experienced sharing a room with perfect strangers.

Just like family, we can’t expect them to behave as we want them to and most of the time we don’t choose them. I remember very well having different roommates in college since I’ve lived practically in the campus dormitory guarded by nuns and middle-aged women who lacked sex. I lived with the dreaded 9PM curfew and strange to insane roommate and dorm mates.

That is why in our modern lives, now that we are working and have to deal with other people who shares our room, we need to draw the line on how far we can go so as to appear well behaved and didn’t spawn from hell.



Your guide to leaving your roommates alive and in one piece.

Cleaning won't hurt
Food
If you notice that the oranges in the fridge now have an image of a skull with crossed bones and a word “poison” embedded on its skin, it means you better stop eating your roommate’s food and get your own. Your roommates can’t help but notice a sudden decrease on his or her food supply and your roomie knew you’re the culprit. This is also a nice way to avoid confrontation.


Pets
We know you love your pet very much that there are times you just can’t part with them. If you don’t want your pet to end up as pulutan then keep them somewhere else, they may be cute but they are awfully annoying most of the time especially when they poop everywhere and you don’t even pick up or clean after them. Never keep pets even if they are rodents or fishes.

Vermin
Yes we hate them and though we are trained to squish and kill those little critters on the spot, spraying insect killers when your roommates are in the same room is just crass. You might as well slit their throats when their sleeping.
Bug Sprays are fatal to humans to and it is very well indicated on the can that these sprays should be utilized in a closed room with no humans around.
People died this way so unless that’s what you want then spray when they’re away.

To be continued…

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Why Artists Starve in the Philippines

By nirmonculus

“Ever wonder why there are no Filipino Nobel prize winners?” Asked Alvin Buenaventura, Executive Director of Filcols(Filipino Copyright Licensing Society Inc). We were all there, young writers, painters, performance artists, the creative youth all huddled up in Espasyo, listening to Alvin saying that a country the size of Mindoro and a population of 1.5 Million has a Nobel Prize winner to their name.

In the Philippines, being a writer, a novelist, a poet, book writer, rarely were ever full time jobs. If a writer wants to survive in our harsh economy, one has to take another job and do his or her writing on the side. There are little to no full time writers in the country, it is a cruel fact that a full time writer cannot clothe, shelter, feed oneself on the career alone, what more a family? Therefore others take a job like BPO jobs, waiting or crew jobs and others completely out of the writing range.

Or worse, one artist will totally be buried in debt. I have a painter friend who owes people money, he owed me too. I believe it’s almost a year now and he hasn’t paid me back and it wasn’t even much. But since I believe in supporting artists who have the talent to make it in the industry, it is nothing to help in every way I can. However I’m not rich either, I’m just as broke as he is and though I want to be a fulltime writer, I need the money back. I want to dedicate every facet of my being to writing my novels, poems and stories and whatnots! Not some article my boss wants me to write…

And I am nothing more than a victim of reality. So I work as a writer for some company, writing something else and my novels, stories, poems had to stay on the side for my fear of literally starving. I receive absolutely nothing from my family, no support whatsoever and can I blame them? I could also take a higher paying job, but at least what I have now is still under the writing department.

It is very true what Alvin said, artists who take jobs not connected to their talents and skills will render them dull and not be able to reach their full potential.

Death to the artist at heart.


Alright, a writer’s life is harsh and full of hard work and what does consumers or readers, whom writers pretty much depend on, can do?

Photocopying and reproducing their works without permission, is a great way to render them bankrupt and put an end to their passion and poor existence.



Ever wonder why school textbooks sucks? Because students do not buy the book, they photocopy it so they can get what the book offers for a huge fraction of the cost. If brilliant writers can’t feed themselves they would probably starve to death and fail to write books that would shape young minds, leaving the Filipino youth ignorant.

Don’t tell me that books in the Philippines are expensive! We are the only country in the world that sells the cheapest books, with imported books having a special edition just for our country.

Alvin spoke with Bro. Armin Luistro about the photocopying of books in De La Salle University Taft Library. That these students should pay the authors whom they copy materials from. These payments will be collected by Filcols and be distributed to authors when their books or works were reproduced in any way. It’s not even going to cost much, perhaps 0.05c to 0.10c per page for the starving authors. Miserably to hear it was of course denied. However if we look at it this way, students can afford it. Students pay for some “internet fee” per semester and were all of them able to utilize it? One would have to take his or her laptop to campus, and how much is the fee? A whopping P500, enough to buy two books and a piece of turon. This fee can be seen on our miscellaneous fee, at least on mine when I studied in DLSU-D. Since I’m frugal, I consumed the internet access I forcefully paid for, wisely. Can they really not afford it?

Photocopying a part, maybe a chapter or more of a book is stealing and yes according to a religion one may go to hell for that. Although back when I was a student, I did photocopy a few pages but never the whole book. They said in France, it is free to photocopy only five pages of a book. So I guess it wouldn’t hurt to copy one page of a book if not, I’m very much willing to pay back the amount it cost to photocopy all those books (I photocopied) in the library.

As of the moment I’m writing a novel which I’m planning to submit to one of the publishing houses in the country and when people find out, the first thing I hear after “Wow, really?” is “Can I get a free copy when it’s out?” and I’m extremely nice to say “Sure, you can!” however sometimes in my heart of hearts, I wish I could say “Why don’t you just pick up a knife and please stick it to my throat? That way I wouldn’t have to work my ass off writing a book to simply give it away for free.” It sounds hostile so I don’t say that, I don’t want to appear like Dr. Gregory House. Although I wish I could give the book to my friends for free, I’d be giving it for free on my own expense. I would have to buy it for them, which is pretty much similar to getting a gun, putting it to my mouth and pulling the trigger.

If a book costs P100 in a bookstore. P50 goes to the store, P35 goes to the publisher and a measly P15 goes to the writer who toiled, stayed up all night and probably starved writing the book.



A Filipino writer’s future is bleak, but one thing is for sure, writers will make publishers richer. Truly, intelligence and talent can never be weighed equal to currency.

I understand, perhaps I won’t be a millionaire through writing, however I don’t want to starve doing what I passionately love. I wish to feed myself, buy new clothes when the current ones are worn out, I wish to be able to pay for my date’s meal, pay for movies and our hotel reservations. Is that so much to ask?

If you feel like supporting starving writers such as myself, then you can start with dinner, coffee and driving me to work. But of course there are other ways, I’m just citing examples.

There are no Filipino Nobel prize winners since they can’t dedicate their efforts on their skills and talents alone due to poverty. Budding writers, struggling artists, mad aspiring scientists and others have to in one way or the other, must eat first. Leading to talents and skills be set aside, eventually neglecting their potential. Perhaps abandoning the potential to be a Nobel Prize winner too.

Also read Starving writer struggle

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Houses in China comes with free Wife!

I was doing some research when I stumbled an article claiming that Real estate in China sells properties with a bonus for a wife.
What a blow to women and to humanity. A flamboyant display of women as nothing more than mere objects. What's sad is these women “agreed”, were they really not forced?? Hm...

Statistics said according to the link, that there are 120 men to every 100 women in China. So men have a tight competition, not to mention how many of those women are lesbians? Totally steeping up the competition for these male seeking partners. I have an idea to that problem... Homosexuality.
If men would just take each other as partners then it would definitely help the economy of China even more and they wouldn't have much problem abiding the “One-child policy”, they can also help the population's control greatly. If everyone wants a happy ending then they better change their views on LGBTQs.
P.S: I also saw a book on display in some bookstore entitled "Sold for Silver" then a Chinese woman was on the cover. I thought selling women or slaves in China was ancient history, now they give away Chinese women for free.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Poking on the Rubble of my Dreams

I'm not very spiritual, honestly, in my whole life I just thought dreams were nothing more what my subconscious can pull up from nowhere and are insignificant but amusing nonetheless. Maybe a sort of psychological explanation is apt so let me just “blackle” that one moment...

The reason that made me interested in dreams lately is because the subject of my obsession has been appearing in my dreams as of late and it's quite disturbing, not disturbing as in nightmares has been recurring but it's always a “sweet dream” truthfully, I rarely get sweet dreams. Therefore I thought I should look it up...

Sigmund Freud (Not a fan) said that dreams are the “royal road to the unconscious”. I have reasons as why not to believe Freud since he was the one who interpreted that if a woman dreamed of something long like a pole or a snake it means that person is desiring sex. A sort of unimaginative reference to the male sex organ.
If in turn a man dreams of something oval or furry like a hedgehog? Or something round and cave-ish, translates to man desiring sex, references to the female sex organ.
In which eventually he gave up this initial idea that all dreams have underlying sexual content. Yes, like maybe sometimes a dream is just a dream.

Then there are modern scientists who claim that dreams are nothing more than images resulting from random electrical activity in the brain as it “housecleans” itself during the night.
Is one idea about a dream, there are more ideas like of Freud's and that they are important wish fulfillment of some sort.

Another explanation from Zeus when we had a convo about souls. He said that dreams are memories of our past lives, reference to rebirths and reincarnation. In dreams we relive them, is that it?
That sounds really sweet and positive...
All these were quite hard to digest since I wasn't exactly a believer on anything spiritual, not until recently when I've been going to the Spiritual University in QC, not because I wanted to know about Spirituality. I went there for another reason and I suppose I got more than what I bargained for. I liked it anyway, I am not intellectual in a lot of things so I stuff myself with information, necessary or not.
I study and I try discover a lot of things believing I don't know enough.

Dreams will remain a mystery. I probably shouldn't think about it too much since they were just merely dreams. However the subject of my obsession remains the same and I am starting to think I'm going bonkers yet functions normally in society.

Still on the process of grasping the concepts of souls and dreams...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The 5th Power, Art for Fashion exhibit and etc.

I went last night to “The 5th Power” Art for Fashion exhibit in Shangrila Mall, since my friend, Zeus Bascon's piece was there. The one he was doing when I stayed til 2am at their place.
After work I ate Baked Mac for dinner at my dorm in Mandaluyong and dragged one of my roommates to oggle some paintings hanged on walls. I'm not quite sure if she's into paintings or art but I dragged her to Shangrila anyway.

http://www.shangrila-plaza.com/shop_talk.php?id=55
It was a 15-20 minute walk from California Garden Square but it was fine, it wasn't so far. Since I didn't have a camera, I never get to take a picture of the exhibit. I did however with my phone, but what use is that? If I can't transfer it in anyway to a working computer?
It was on the floor nearest the fountain and there, mannequins in their branded clothes stood where the painting-that's supposed to be inspired by the clothing line, cling to the installed wall.






Zeus Bascon's piece was titled “In Bloom” where on the canvas depicts a woman as though wrapped in cocoon, seen almost to the middle of the painting in a dark subtle flower garden, being swept by swift gusts of wind. The sky showed a hazy fusion of colors and trees stood isolated dither and hither.
In an almost chaotic world portrayal where havoc seemed brought by whispers of the wind, the woman (who has the signature face of Zeus's paintings) defies enfolding and almost on the verge to release itself from its trappings.

He said he wasn't in the mood to explain the painting so I made my own explanation. I'm starting to think it's leaning rather on the feminist side, who knows maybe he had a better explanation. The shop that was assigned to him, to get the inspiration from was “NAF NAF”.

Other remarkable pieces were on display too and is worth a glimpse. Other works coming from the artists who did Maldita, The Row and a few others struck me as “Huh?”.

The piece on Maldita created by an artist I-forgot-his-name was an image of two young women perhaps on their early 20s, standing next to each other with faded legs and they were walking in obviously-Maldita's clothes.
Where in my opinion clothes can be seen anywhere else. If its a bonus, the two ladies had different hairstyles. The one on the left wearing a yellow-gold blouse-dress's hair was long, the classic style in a pony tail and on the right was a girl in short shorts in a blue blouse fit for the ladies and her hair was the modern short hair, but not similar to Twiggy, maybe the hair I usually see being sported by lesbians.

My explanation for the Maldita piece: A lesbian couple walked in, a fair distance between them is very evident along the abyss of confusion (the background painting was in turd color) it can be seen on their faces that they weren't happy. The tension was totally powerful that their legs suddenly vanished! It seems that the one with the longer hair was upset and the other with the short hair have no clue as to what's making her girl upset. I will now rename the title of the piece “Regla” or “It's our monthsary and you totally have no idea that it's also my period!”
Maldita is a shop, with women who are slightly older and who are professionals, for their target market, with women who are powerful and the boss of men. I didn't see that in the painting.

Other paintings looked like it was made by an artist who has the technique but has the imagination of a 5 year old(I think 5 yr olds have better imagination actually). I'm not going to go and write down what I thought of the other paintings here. Interesting works by Mica Cabildo, two of them were on display. I've met her through Zeus, she made a yarn sort of necklace in the combination of brown (I don't remember much) and white for the shop “Yhansy”.

The exhibit was arranged so that if one would look from the upper levels or a bird's eye-view the number 5 formation is unmistakably evident.

Maybe the few artists, simply worked attaching the quality of their work to the amount they were paid. But that shouldn't be the case.

After that, my roomie and I walked around and saw another exhibit of “News in Pictures” a notable collection I remember was from Christina Sevilla... Was it Cristina? I don't even remember.

The exhibit is still open this week. Go ahead and take a look.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Black saves energy!

I have forgotten where I got this from but a few years ago, I read somewhere that LCD and CRT screens (That means your monitor) use less energy or electricity when the images shown are in dark colors.
That is also one of the reasons why my blog design is in dark colors.

Therefore Google, one of the highly successful search engines on earth have created BLACKLE.COM
A search engine where as opposed to google, has black for background, cutting a bit on your electric bill. It also help reduce green house gas emissions. Collectively when a number of people(let's say half the planet) use it then it will have great effects and our efforts won't have been in vain.
I use it as my homepage. The url is www.blackle.com
Do your share for mother earth.

Chapter 3: A glimpse of the other

There was nothing more to talk about. Destry letting out a sigh leaned completely on the lonely tree tilting her head a bit and though she had gotten used to being with Lyle, she had given meaning to the days of loneliness when Lyle refused to talk or see her. She wasn't the type to go out with different girls, at least... not anymore.

Lyle had met another girl, though Destry had never met her personally. She only saw her one day exiting the campus gates with Lyle and their fellow classmates. Destry then was sitting in the cafe across the gates and saw with her own eyes behind the paned glass windows. “Is that the girl?” asked Nalini, or Lini for short. Destry's close friend who still study in the same university. Nalini was older a couple of years but had remained in the university where Destry, had graduated a year ago but now, after a year working has quit her job and is taking a rest. She visits Nalini and Lyle often in campus but that day perhaps was the last day Destry visited Lyle. Nalini is a half Indian and half Filipino descent, hence her peculiar name and rather exotic features.
“She's a hundred-footer, I can't believe it! You are a whole lot prettier and a thousand times better than that girl!” exclaimed Nalini as she sipped from the straw of her cold coffee drink. Destry sitting opposite Nalini simply looked at the girl and Lyle, they simply crossed the street. They didn't see her. The girl has a short hair and was dressed in a boyish manner and walking rather in a manly way.
Destry smiled “There are girls who are like that, at least Lyle didn't have to guess if the girl was a lesbian or not. It screams her sexual orientation, eliminating awkward moments of asking if she were gay.” Destry picked up her espresso cup and took a little drink. “Plus Lyle told me that she likes the girl and actually approached her. But the girl has a girlfriend or something like that.” Destry explained to Nalini who made a reaction of repulsion. “What?! Seriously? You have got to be kidding me! Isn't she your girl?” Nalini continued “Well what did you do? Or even say?”
“Nothing.” Destry said.



The coldness drifted in the air and the stars above glimmered silently and oblivious to both Destry and Lyle.
“So, what now?” Lyle said putting her box of cigarette in the car and closing the door. Destry got up and smiled, walking towards Lyle and halting a few feet away, said “We remain friends.”
Destry drew closer to Lyle and embraced her as she always had. Pressing her body close and Lyle received her. Destry held Lyle longer, there was a bit of sadness but she brushed it off, it has to be this way for the sake of her freedom. So that a new beginning may arise, a new opportunity to welcome her. Also, she didn't want to hinder Lyle on anything, if she believed she's going to be better and happier with the other, then perhaps it's her role to help out as well. Why would she prevent a beautiful flower from blooming? Why prevent, perhaps an interesting relationship to happen? Even if she doesn't know what's happening between Lyle and the other. Is she sure they're happy?

Destry slowly planted a small kiss on Lyle's cheek.“I'm taking you home.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Index:
Chapter 3: A glimpse of the other 

Author's Comment:

Perhaps I should clean up and refine my short stories. Perhaps when I finally get to work on it at home and when I get my LCD screen back from Zeus.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

How to help the Philippines survive with you walking around: A young Filipino guide to living in modern times


We now live in the modern world where uncouthness is the predominant trait seen in people. Where people continue to yap endlessly for everyone to hear in movie theaters or someone in the bus who won't move over to the side so you can't sit and people borrowing money with no effort and intention of paying you back, among others. People had forgotten how to be noble and where respect is a rare gem found in others.

In Manila where everyone came from different walks of life, how will they survive a day with you walking around and breathing the same polluted air they do? People will then be scratching their skull asking themselves if you are a what you are - a true savage. In which case, their nice and civil otherwise they would be cursing you and tagging humiliating photos of you on Facebook.

So as not to let everyone perceive that you have sold your soul to the devil and make it appear it's still intact then observing etiquette and certain guidelines to dealing with people will certainly alleviate misery in our daily routine from commuting, ordering food, to totally abusive friends and colleagues. Knowing when to give your seat to an elderly, when not to say anything, when to pick up the tab at dinner and knowing how to break up properly with someone.
Knowing exactly how to break it properly will separates the wheat from the chaff. Let us start taking a step on the road to nobility and honor.

Focusing first on how to deal with people you are dating and not dating. This is a part of the modern guideline that is mainly based on my friends' expert advice, insights and experiences since I am very bad with dating and I practically don't know a thing about it.

*I will only be poking on the matter of homosexual dating and relationships since I know there would be several guidelines out there about heterosexual dating everywhere. Although some rules can still apply to heterosexuals.

  1. Assume Nothing. That's final. Since both of you are going to be of the same sex, a simple gesture of dinner sometimes can only mean friendship and a bonding time and not exactly a date. So it is always better to – read no. 2 below.
  2. Make things clear. Is this a date? Before asking that question, first ask, is the person I'm going out with gay/lesbian?? It would certainly be strange if you are going out with a straight person, closets should at least be out to themselves.
    I was a douche before so people have received a rather unclear and annoying answer when they asked me the “Is this a date?” question. I would say “I don't know” or shrug “I don't care” and friends told me I was being callous. I apologize (bow)
  3. Don't be absurd. You don't have the right to be jealous what so ever despite the fact you've been having dinner frequently. Accosting the other about he/she dating someone else is beyond your limit. Unless you have told her or him that she or he is the lesbian or queer of your life then shut your trap, you're not the girlfriend/boyfriend yet. Bringing up that topic of he or she seeing others has a certain guideline. If you are serious about it then do it properly by asking the other to dinner or having a talk, express and explain your feelings that you're jealous and it hurts and duh, you want exclusivity. Pointing out you're jealous but don't want exclusivity is preposterous and ridiculous.
  4. Who pays dinner/picks up the bill? Or any meal for that matter? Since most of my friends are straight girls, they always never pay for dinner, the guy would, despite the girl asking for dinner, pay for dinner. But what if you're both male or both female? Now, this simply boils down to Who asked for dinner or the date. There were times that even if someone asked me out I insist to pay for dinner. There was also a time where the other one paid for everything despite her being asked out by me, I didn't throw a fit but I insisted to pay at least even just my own meal. She didn't let me and I guess she had her way if that was what she wants. It didn't just take guts to ask her, it took a whole lot of everything and a brave soul to ask her out and I don't just go asking someone out. I didn't know what to make of it but it made me feel like jumping off from the highest floor of Shangri-la Plaza to eventually smash by skull near the fountain below. If you were the “askee” I think it's just right to let the “asker” pay and sit prettily at the opposite end of the table.
    If the 'asker' refuses to pick up the tab then you can at the very least pay for your own meal and it's up to you to take it out on the 'asker'. Don't ever voice out that the 'asker' is a cheapskate.
  5. What should you do if a straight girl/guy wants to ask you out? Simple, say no. Unless you're bisexual or still confused. If you want to be friends with them tell them you will hang out but only as friends, do this if you are emotionally detached and don't care what the other is feeling, hurt or happy or both. Or you could get your other friends to come along totally eliminating the possibility of a date or just simply say no.
  6. Don't flirt, excessively. If you want to ask someone out, flirting with them excessively can mean you only want a one night thing, unless that's what you want then carry on. Flirting is fun but not when done in excess. I never take flirts seriously, ever. They will remain in the air they made out to be.

This way you will not only be saving time but save the effort from yourself and others and promote world peace.


I suppose I should ask my LGBTQ friends about tips since consulting straight friends won't help much and I simply have no idea about dating. And I am not an exception in committing dating faux pas but I'm trying to change at the very least.
Next guideline will be posted soon. Perhaps on public transportation or dealing with abusive user friends.
If you have questions, comments and tips if you may, please comment or send me message.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

"A-Soap" Chapter 2: The One

Destry was the one.

The one you won't end up with. Period. It's not because she's evil or she is simply a hideous person. It is so, because Destry won't wish it upon herself to be tied down to someone for the longest time. Didn't she play a good role and now it's going to end. All she had with Lyle is nothing more than a game, a silly play she acted as girlfriend. The worst thing was it brought her harm than good. ~

For Lyle insisted she was still hungry then Destry suggested to have dinner somewhere else, they are now speeding through the highway in Destry's Sedan. She realized as she drove the car along the road that this won't be easy, that Lyle as much as she'd hate it would eventually throw a fit and be totally irrational on the matter.
So she made dinner to be a bit quicker by not speaking too much and not bringing up the topic of splitting.
Destry paid for dinner and they went back to Destry's car and she insisted to take Lyle home since it was getting a bit dark but of course before that happens, Destry parked the car a bit near Lyle's place on a hill where one can view the town's landscape. It was just off a few meters along the highway where a lonely tree stood. Destry and Lyle went outside, Destry walked over to the tree and Lyle leaned on the side of the car and lighted a cigarette.
Destry looked at Lyle as smokes escape her mouth. She looked at the distance and the flickering lights and felt the coolness of the evening on her cheeks. She felt a bit of contempt coming from Lyle, she took a deep breath and started to speak. She looked neutral with her eyebrows almost trying to reach other.
“I know it's over... but we're still friends right?” She leaned on the tree and both her hands at her back, with the palms against the tree.
“Yeah, I guess it is...” Lyle pressed the cigarette to her lips again. “Is it possible to be friends still?” asked Destry. Though Destry never liked smokers then again she never liked Lyle to be her girlfriend and wasn't it only through a form of pathetic coercion did she date Lyle?
Destry tried not to be sad since they'll probably hang out and see each other as friends anyway.

Destry in the past months had tried to break up with Lyle and failed, miserably. She wanted a break up where Lyle won't try to end up crying and before, her attempts only ended up in a very dramatic moment where Lyle even tried to slit her wrists. Destry didn't want any drama and as much as possible wished it to be smooth and easy. She was always threatened by Lyle that she would end her pathetic existence if she dared leave her. It was an in-your-face display of selfishness and insecurity from Lyle.
It wasn't later that Destry had realized what an emotional vampire Lyle had become, from a jealous and clingy girlfriend she had become a jealous-clingy-suicidal-emotional vampire girlfriend.
It was just too much to handle and Destry wanted freedom, she couldn't have Lyle eat away her life.

And this became easier now since a rather interesting event happened a month back.

Someone has another girl.

-------------------------------
Author's Comment: Totally raw...

Index:
Prologue: Lyle
Chapter 1: Destry
Chapter 2: The One
Go to next chapter:
Chapter 3: A glimpse

Friday, October 8, 2010

Starving Writer Struggle

“Artists starve for the love of Art.”
Quite literally.

My long time friend, Zeus, who's a painter and lives just ten minutes away from my home in Laguna is one of the friends I support and I believe he dreams to be a national artist in the Philippines someday, aside from that he loves to paint and has a career out of it.
Not a lot of my friends have dreams like that and I would like to help out, in whatever means I can.

To mention, not a lot of people have goals or dreams almost similar to mine or his(I'm not about to discuss my dreams but uhhh yeah I do have them). Now, I see people my age go about each day without realizing their dreams. They walk nonsensically day to day without trying to look into the vignettes of their future. No wonder there aren't a lot of people who are happy with their jobs, despite it paying better than mine. People who find it a bit challenging to get their diplomas (probably because they don't like the course they took). And halts to complete silence when asked “What's your dream/goal/plan in the future?”
It puzzles me that somehow they don't know the answer to that simple question. It's like not knowing oneself and is ignorant of one's purpose.
Zeus, pursues his dream with rackets and projects that would lead him a step further into the road of painting superstardom.

Another friend of mine who has a passion for dancing and acting, used to be a model, but a turn in her fate recently had compromised her dreams. She got knocked up and got married eventually. She told me she still wants to pursue dancing but certain obligations hold her back. We used to share a dream... no, not dancing and acting but the dream of supporting each other in pursuing our own goals, to be there in and bask in the struggles and petty achievements along the road. She was my best friend.
But we're young and I know there's still time for her to achieve her dreams and I'd still support her, nothing has changed in me.

Last Sunday I went to Zeus's house and hanged out til 2am. He was painting 3x3 feet canvas for his upcoming exhibit in Shangri-la plaza. He ranted on the amount that they were going to be paid (and honestly I could earn them in two days) saying that the exhibit don't have enough budget to accommodate what he had requested for the pay and had several issues into taking the project. He was hesitant since the offer was quite minuscule, he might as well hit himself with a huge lump of rock to the head.
“It's Shangri-la Plaza for crying out loud!” - not exactly what he said.
He has been working freelance for about 5 years and counting, he never took any job that would sway away from his career and he may not be richer now and sometimes he would go to desperate measures just to meet a deadline.

My freelance days are over. I work in an office in Diliman since I find it hard to drag myself to the computer despite it just sitting next to the bed. I needed an office in which I'd be pressured to work in.

“Dreamless people starve for the lack of Art”
Not literally.
Dreamless people aren't creative, much like a rolling ball with not much of a direction and they are everywhere. They are purposeless, thinks rhythmic greeting cards are a fine work of art, poetry-ish.
Rarely do they amount to anything but would as much as, perhaps to suck the marrows out of their parent's bank account in order to sustain their lifestyle. They have no drive, no passion to fuel their means and nothing to burn for their souls.
However most of them have resources which in turn would be a lot of help for Zeus and I. Some of them have everything, yet nothing to create with. They lack the ability to create.

That Sunday evening at Zeus' house we prepared coffee. My first coffee since I discovered I shouldn't indulge too much on it since it's quite hazardous to my health.

I know very well, pursuing a career in writing won't probably make me a millionaire. My mum told me she thought I'd be a painter or illustrator someday and my english teacher back in high-school wrote at the back of my notebook “You will be a writer someday.”
It probably won't feed me and my future partner. We would starve perhaps?
I would still write despite the empty stomach the same as my friend would paint despite the lack of sleep.
I'm taking a step on the road of my writing career. I know it's going to be hard and I'm only taking a few steps... yet my stomach is already grumbling.

What's your dream?


Thursday, October 7, 2010

"A-Soap" Chapter 1: Destry

Destry knew something was wrong. She doesn't have to feign naivete but she doesn't have to fret about it either. That is why she had taken the initiative to drop the 4 dreaded words “Can we talk?”, apparently those were the words that Destry told Lyle in a text message, only comprised of three words. It was supposed to be the “We need to talk.” phrase, which was originally her dreaded words. She changed it since those four words connote something negative. At times, those words were enough to bring in the bad news and it's always followed by a similarly bad and lame random excuse. I'm not going to be like that she told herself and she would in all her strength, remain friends with Lyle.
Nonetheless she was answered by Lyle that it had to wait since she was busy with her projects and other things.
And so she waited. She's never the one to argue, to bring something up just to satisfy herself or make a fuss over something. She kept to herself and as weeks went by without any sort of communication from Lyle, she knew it was over. At least she would like to think of it that way.

She went on with her usual habits during the week and called Lyle if they could finally talk if she's not busy anymore. Thankfully the day has come to settle and make things clear.

Destry now stood across a rather shabby food house off the outskirts of town. She saw at the other side of the paned glass that Lyle was sitting in one of the tables at the back. Lyle insisted on meeting here and perhaps it was a regret of letting her get her ways. She entered and walked past the eating construction workers and jeepney drivers on other tables. These men can't help but stare at Destry and some of them obviously made second glances.

Destry smiled but it wasn't her usual smile, it was simpler and quite unfamiliar.
Lyle was wearing a shirt, a pair of pants and flip flops. Her hair was tied in a pony tail. Destry was wearing her usual button down shirt in white and with the sleeves rolled up to her arms almost to her elbows and a pair of shorts, she's walking in a pair of gray casual shoes. Originally they were white, however Destry don't have a habit of washing her shoes from the first wear and let it that way. So splatters of mud were visible on the surface of the shoes.
She wanted to frown when she saw Lyle. She knew too well Lyle won't be seen eating here and normally Lyle would dress a bit stylish no matter the occasion. However today was different, Lyle had completely became bland.
There has got to be a better way of showing how you don't care Destry thought to herself and took the chair across Lyle, who was listening to her iPod. Lyle took off her earphones and tucked them away in her shoulder bag with cute little cartoon images printed.
How are you?” Destry started, her wavy hair rested lazily on her shoulders and her dark piercing eyes caught Lyle's. “I'm fine.” said Lyle and even the slight of being upset was detected by Destry's radar.
I'm hungry.” Lyle said “Buy me something.” Never had Destry heard Lyle command her to do something similar to what just happened now. It was always Destry who would pick up the tab and would offer things. And Lyle would always ask nicely or not at all. “Alright then, what do you want?” she yielded to her orders and bought a bottle of softdrinks and a pack of chips. No worries, her arteries are as good as clogged... Maybe not. These aren't exactly enough to clog them.
She returned to the table and laid the bottle and snack on the table. Lyle looked at the bottle and with her right index finger she said “There's no straw?”
Destry hasn't even taken her seat yet “I think now is a good moment to give mother earth a break with plastics, imagine as we speak polar bears are drowning in the north pole” said Destry as she took her seat.

This didn't struck Lyle as something to worry about, in fact she thought at that moment what Destry said was senseless but later on she would understand what it meant.
Fine.” Lyle said and started eating the chips and drinking the beverage.

Truly Lyle is acting peculiar and the absence of her presence in the past weeks only puzzled Destry. Not knowing what had happened in the past three weeks she could only think of one thing. It has to end, at least they must tell each other its over and they can go back to being friends, like before. Then again Lyle has the habit of acting weird when circumstances don't require her to.

Just like that time where she and Lyle were simply hanging out in a park in uptown Middleton Park, just 30 minutes from Destry's house and an hour and half for Lyle. They were reading books in a quiet serenity of nature with the sounds of chirping birds, when out of nowhere Lyle said “You don't love me...” There was a long pause where no one spoke a word, Destry putting her book down looked at Lyle in the eyes, with no trace of reaction on her face. They both waited, Lyle for a response and Destry, for a miraculous power to transport her to another place but here. Destry then bursts into a string of laughter.

Destry looked at Lyle across the table. She wasn't bad looking but Destry had dated better looking girls.
She took a deep breath and said “I guess you know very well why I want to talk to you...”
Before Destry could utter another word, Lyle cut her off “I'm still hungry” she said.
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Author's Comment:

Chapter 1: Destry
Go to next chapter:
Chapter 2: The One

A continuation of "A-Soap" a series of short stories I've been inspired to do. 
1st draft, no I have no plan yet on making other drafts or totally refining them, which I should really work on. I shouldn't really post raw stories, here goes. Well since I do this only for fun perhaps I should just leave it at that, for fun. 
Next chapter to be posted soon. 
Chapter 2: The One

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Lyle: Prologue of "A-Soap"

A girl with long black hair and fair skin sat in a table collecting and placing items in a box, a bit smaller than a shoe box made out of recycled paper in a rather very common brown color. She placed the last item, a key-chain of a tea pot charmed with several hanging tiny little tea cups.
The stringed item laid among the other trinkets and several framed photos of two young girls, smiling and laughing in other frames with occasional holiday cards.
She noticed there weren't really a lot of things in the box and quickly after realizing it and perhaps deeming the past to be empty as well, covered the box.
Her common looking eyes drifted on the empty space before her, thinking what to do with the box. Throw it away or give it back? Quickly she turned to her left while at the same time she grabbed the box, she knelt next to the bed and pushed the box underneath it.
She then lied on her bed, stared into the ceiling and pondered on what to do. She didn't want to see her, but she'd have to eventually, perhaps too soon, give back her music CDs and PS2 game titles back.

In her quiet little room she held herself still. She heard a few knocks on her door and a few seconds later her mom opened it, a woman who looked a bit young for her age with short brown hair, held the same eyes as her, the lady enters the room “Lyle, it's Destry on the phone”

Lyle sat up with no more than an enthusiasm of a ten year old waking up to go to school in the morning. She took the phone and her mom left. Pressing the plastic wireless phone to her left ear and waited, she didn't want to say a word. “...Lyle? I can hear you breathing. “ a voice spoke at the other end of the line.

~End of Prologue

Go to next chapter:
Chapter 1: Destry

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Author's comment:
This is a group of short stories that I am doing right now among others. This is the first draft and well I just want to post it so my friends can read it.
Past were the days where I recite poetry to my close friends, we are no longer in sync with the time and place and could only see each other on occasions.

I can't help but miss them sometimes but such is the time of struggles for all of us. Trying to make something out of ourselves, something great... perhaps is a priority weighing heavy on our shoulders, but heavier on mine.
I need to work hard since I have no choice, I'd rather eat paper than have my parents back me. Therefore life is hard on me yet I carry myself proud, I am a self-made person.
Anyhows... next chapter is: "Destry: Chapter 1" will be posted soon in the "A-Soap" collection.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Am I addicted to games? again..?

It has become apparent that I could be suffering from problem gaming. It seems that I have failed to do some of my duties and other things since I'm so enthralled into beating Monster Hunter Freedom Unite(MHFU), a PSP title that became a really hit in Japan, was the number 1 game for the portable device for sometime too.
When I noticed I forget things and have failed to feed my cat, which I realized just a day after leaving Laguna, I asked myself “Could I be addicted to Gaming?”
Now being aware of oneself is a good step towards wisdom and I should know myself very well.
I try to play whenever I get the chance, I try to eat lunch as quick as I can, more like inhaling my lunch. After having lunch I make use of the remaining break time to complete a quest from MHFU. And where should I play undisturbed away from eyes of people? At the end of the building where I work is a somehow quiet restroom, cleaner than the one near the entrance and there I lock myself in one of the cubicles, put the toilet seat and lid down, sit and play. The only downside to the place is that since it is rather isolated and rarely visited, it is the one rest room that people loves to take their dumps.
On a rare occasion, someone thought she was all alone in the room and didn't notice I was in a cubicle at the far end. She quickly locked herself in one of the cubes and as I heard it with my ears, she lifted the toilet seat with a very quick manner, it seems also that she was in a hurry and the next thing I heard was a woman, grunting and almost moaning. Of course I know exactly was happening and before the funky smell would stick to my clothes. I went outside, pausing my game and looking for a new place to play.

When I get to Mandaluyong, currently where I'm staying during weekdays, I simply sit around my room and play until the time comes for me to sleep. There were times that I wish I don't have to sleep anymore but alas, I have work the next morning.

I haven't found a solution but I promise to do the things I should have been doing. But here are the list that made realize I have been totally engulfed into gaming mode:

1. Forgot to feed cat despite it “meowing” the whole day in front of me
2. Forgotten to change bed sheets.
3. Didn't bring sufficient clothes to Mandaluyong
4. Went to friend's house to hang out but played game still
5. Friend says “You haven't been dating anyone” (Apparently I'm very busy... playing games and other reasons. I could have easily asked someone else out but I choose not to and I don't want to go out since the last time.)
6. It's the only thing I think about... not really. Hahaha! But it's one of the things.

I still haven't come up with a solution, but I shall try to do other things. In any case, if anyone wants to play a group game of MHFU which is pretty capable in the PSP then send me a message.

The game is pretty addictive with 300+ hours of gameplay (Been playing for 150+ hours and still not bored) The player sets out to vanquishing and capturing dragons and other monsters and literally wearing their skin with various weapons to choose from, I choose the bow and dual blades despite the inability to block. Perhaps one should try playing the game and understand that it's not just one of those cheesy Final Fantasy games. :B

P.S. Perhaps this is what a friend of mine was saying when I told him he can borrow my PS2. He might just use to escape from reality... he was supposed to get it fixed. 
I wish time would simply slow down or stop when I'm playing since I know there are a lot of things I better be doing but its sort of hard... Sigh.

Then again I haven't really stopped reading books, almost done with Animal Farm and The man who mistook his wife for a hat. Only get to read them at work hehe.
I tend to read books simultaneously, shifting from one book to the next every 5 minutes. That's how I watch movies and play games too, sometimes switching to Deception III Dark Delusions.