Friday, April 29, 2011

Burn this Bridge if We're Not Going to Cross It!

This is my most favorite House Season 7 Episode: Unwritten

A writer, after finishing her final manuscript locks in a vault. Talking to a boy, later on revealed as a pigment of her imagination, who asked her what she will do then since writing was her life.
She pulls out a gun from her writing table drawer and points it to her mouth but before she could pull the trigger, she had a seizure… Her Maid comes to her aid.

Topic of discussion on a Friday: Suicide

I went home to Laguna last weekend and as always - had conversations with my friend Zeus, just like our usual conversations such as emotional, financial, career and other struggles in life, we talked about suicide. Because we were talking about performance arts - man choking himself in a mall, woman rolling on the street of Manila in a blood drenched wedding gown, man tying himself on the back of beetle-bug etc and Suicide as a form of performance art Ala Black Swan minus the hallucinations.

I don’t see suicide as a form of cowardice and there have been several commitments of suicides currently in the Philippines. Have I mentioned that a few years ago, three children have committed suicides in our Barangay where Zeus and I live? All occurred in a month.

Zeus said it’s fine to commit suicide if it weren’t for emotional reasons such as committing suicide since you have accomplished your goals in life. 
You're done with the purpose you have created yourself so end your existence but leave a beautiful mark in this world. End world hunger/poverty/war/pain then kill yourself.You will surely have monuments, songs, poems, photo-collage as tribute to the good deeds you've done.

Perhaps for him it’s fine to commit suicide after achieving whatever you want in life, which is pretty much the case of the writer in House’s episode. The writer in that episode was in pain in which I’m not going to divulge further, go watch House, it’s therapeutic, eye-opening, entertaining and so much more.

I agreed with him in some ways. People die for little to no apparent reason every day. One gets held up in the middle of the night, discovering he only has P50 in his pocket ends up bleeding to death near some gutter in Aurora Blvd, people die from diseases every day, abortion (legal/illegal), car crash or negligence, forgetting to breathe etc.

I wonder why people look at suicide as though it’s a very bad thing.
Considerably it’s economically and earthly positive, one less human taking oxygen so more oxygen for everyone, less carbon footprint, less animals butchered to satisfy his or her taste buds, good for worms if the corpse was to be buried or less space taken up if cremated and more.

In a romantic sense, it’s tragic. It can either be meaningful or meaningless, depends on the romantic level of the person. One less collection of laughter and tears, one less person to talk to (to some at least) or share insights with, etc.

It’s very tragic if the person who killed himself or herself is a very beautiful, genius and talented person.
I haven’t had any closer friend or relative who have committed suicide, I’m pertaining to the successful ones. The not successful ones, I now see them as emotional vampires who try to manipulate others into succumbing into their emotional needs. In which I’ve admittedly had once been a victim. I sometimes think I’m too nice for my own good. Ugh… Teens.

The only thing that’s worst than suicide, is FAKE/FAILED Suicide! People will always have the presumption of the person who attempted it needed validation of their existence. Although people do a lot of bizarre things to validate their existence because well, it’s utterly depressing to be alive when no one thinks you exist.
People are well, messed up in some way or another. Is suicide the answer? I don’t know. For some it is. I don’t promote it but I don’t really think of it as such a bad thing. We will always have different views on it I suppose.

Zeus and I have unfolded the discussion on killing one self when the emotion and urge is just too strong.
It’s passionate alright, but could often lead to a beautiful mistake just like any acts of ardors, it’s often irrational but the defense could be… it could just be really hard to bear.  

Perhaps it’s the only Romantic Gesture that hasn’t really died yet.

"For you I'd bleed myself dry..." 
 Yellow by Coldplay

It’s Hard… It’s always Hard. – HOUSE MD

I always thought that life is a challenge in a way and sometimes I challenge myself further.
Back in college we used to have rounds on who will clean the bathroom and sometimes just to put some spice, I would clean it using a toothbrush. Yes, a toothbrush... brushing every square tile of the bathroom until it's sparkly clean.

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