Tuesday, October 12, 2010

How to help the Philippines survive with you walking around: A young Filipino guide to living in modern times

We now live in the modern world where uncouthness is the predominant trait seen in people. Where people continue to yap endlessly for everyone to hear in movie theaters or someone in the bus who won't move over to the side so you can't sit and people borrowing money with no effort and intention of paying you back, among others. People had forgotten how to be noble and where respect is a rare gem found in others.

In Manila where everyone came from different walks of life, how will they survive a day with you walking around and breathing the same polluted air they do? People will then be scratching their skull asking themselves if you are a what you are - a true savage. In which case, their nice and civil otherwise they would be cursing you and tagging humiliating photos of you on Facebook.

So as not to let everyone perceive that you have sold your soul to the devil and make it appear it's still intact then observing etiquette and certain guidelines to dealing with people will certainly alleviate misery in our daily routine from commuting, ordering food, to totally abusive friends and colleagues. Knowing when to give your seat to an elderly, when not to say anything, when to pick up the tab at dinner and knowing how to break up properly with someone.
Knowing exactly how to break it properly will separates the wheat from the chaff. Let us start taking a step on the road to nobility and honor.

Focusing first on how to deal with people you are dating and not dating. This is a part of the modern guideline that is mainly based on my friends' expert advice, insights and experiences since I am very bad with dating and I practically don't know a thing about it.

*I will only be poking on the matter of homosexual dating and relationships since I know there would be several guidelines out there about heterosexual dating everywhere. Although some rules can still apply to heterosexuals.

  1. Assume Nothing. That's final. Since both of you are going to be of the same sex, a simple gesture of dinner sometimes can only mean friendship and a bonding time and not exactly a date. So it is always better to – read no. 2 below.
  2. Make things clear. Is this a date? Before asking that question, first ask, is the person I'm going out with gay/lesbian?? It would certainly be strange if you are going out with a straight person, closets should at least be out to themselves.
    I was a douche before so people have received a rather unclear and annoying answer when they asked me the “Is this a date?” question. I would say “I don't know” or shrug “I don't care” and friends told me I was being callous. I apologize (bow)
  3. Don't be absurd. You don't have the right to be jealous what so ever despite the fact you've been having dinner frequently. Accosting the other about he/she dating someone else is beyond your limit. Unless you have told her or him that she or he is the lesbian or queer of your life then shut your trap, you're not the girlfriend/boyfriend yet. Bringing up that topic of he or she seeing others has a certain guideline. If you are serious about it then do it properly by asking the other to dinner or having a talk, express and explain your feelings that you're jealous and it hurts and duh, you want exclusivity. Pointing out you're jealous but don't want exclusivity is preposterous and ridiculous.
  4. Who pays dinner/picks up the bill? Or any meal for that matter? Since most of my friends are straight girls, they always never pay for dinner, the guy would, despite the girl asking for dinner, pay for dinner. But what if you're both male or both female? Now, this simply boils down to Who asked for dinner or the date. There were times that even if someone asked me out I insist to pay for dinner. There was also a time where the other one paid for everything despite her being asked out by me, I didn't throw a fit but I insisted to pay at least even just my own meal. She didn't let me and I guess she had her way if that was what she wants. It didn't just take guts to ask her, it took a whole lot of everything and a brave soul to ask her out and I don't just go asking someone out. I didn't know what to make of it but it made me feel like jumping off from the highest floor of Shangri-la Plaza to eventually smash by skull near the fountain below. If you were the “askee” I think it's just right to let the “asker” pay and sit prettily at the opposite end of the table.
    If the 'asker' refuses to pick up the tab then you can at the very least pay for your own meal and it's up to you to take it out on the 'asker'. Don't ever voice out that the 'asker' is a cheapskate.
  5. What should you do if a straight girl/guy wants to ask you out? Simple, say no. Unless you're bisexual or still confused. If you want to be friends with them tell them you will hang out but only as friends, do this if you are emotionally detached and don't care what the other is feeling, hurt or happy or both. Or you could get your other friends to come along totally eliminating the possibility of a date or just simply say no.
  6. Don't flirt, excessively. If you want to ask someone out, flirting with them excessively can mean you only want a one night thing, unless that's what you want then carry on. Flirting is fun but not when done in excess. I never take flirts seriously, ever. They will remain in the air they made out to be.

This way you will not only be saving time but save the effort from yourself and others and promote world peace.

I suppose I should ask my LGBTQ friends about tips since consulting straight friends won't help much and I simply have no idea about dating. And I am not an exception in committing dating faux pas but I'm trying to change at the very least.
Next guideline will be posted soon. Perhaps on public transportation or dealing with abusive user friends.
If you have questions, comments and tips if you may, please comment or send me message.

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