Signs of the Apocalypse

It was a Friday, it could have been just any day but it was all over the news that an earthquake hit Japan with a ground breaking 8.9 magnitude, I didn’t watch or read the news. My officemates were discussing it and I couldn’t help but overhear them saying a tsunami was headed for the Philippines.

Seconds away from skyclad, snail orgasm, tantra sex and the death of romance.

A lesbian friend of mine sent a message about watching the film “Never Let Me Go” and unfortunately I’ve seen the movie, we just decided to come over another friend’s place and celebrate. My lesbian friend, let’s call her Turt, is planning to get married with her partner in Paris but she doesn’t know how it works so she asked for my help and if ever she won’t get married there, she can always have a wedding here. Turt, hasn’t exactly come out to two of our friends, I had to threaten her and blackmail her before she admitted she’s gay in which she doesn’t really need to deny since I can tell she’s a lesbian from a hundred feet. However, this she hasn’t admitted to our remaining friends, Ella and Abi.

Ella was panicking about the tsunami so she didn’t want to leave her place, we have decided to simply buy food from a restaurant and eat at her place since Turt seriously needed some counseling about the marriage she’s currently pursuing.

I met Turt somewhere in Ayala and we went to Serendra to buy dinner and wine. We bought Baked Vegetarian Lasagna and Vegetarian Risotto from Duo, a garden salad pizza from Greenwich, wine from some wine store and a dozen of Sonja’s Cupcakes for Ella’s kids and well… for us. Turt is around her mid-thirties, one sign of aging is that she’s wearing a pair of clogs from crocs. I was about to blurt out “So where are we digging a vegetable patch?”

Clogs sold by crocs are originally designed for gardeners, yes they may be lightweight and comfortable but it is a note for a fashion suicide in which I’m sure Turt doesn’t care at all. Since she’s not exactly young, driving for her can be quite tiring and again, I drove her car to Ella’s place.

It was at dinner that Turt came out to Ella but her marriage to another woman in Paris was the one that swept Ella from her seat like a Tsunami. Turt just wanted to announce the marriage and ask some help on how to get married in Paris. The funny thing was she asked me about it, although I shouldn't be knowing these things, I do have the information she needed.
Ella of course was all ears about it. Turt was hesitant to tell the truth and actually asked me to tell Ella about her engagement, in which I have refused, so she asked me for a mere introduction, she wanted me to produce lightning for the storm.

Veronica: Someone’s engaged. (I lifted my hand bearing a ring making a joke about it)

Ella: You’re getting married?!

Veronica: No. Turt is, in paris.

Ella almost fell from her seat and they commenced the discussion about the marriage. Congratulations?

I fell in love with the risotto, it was so good I was determined to have dinner at Duo next time that the only thing I could tell Turt was “Don’t get married.” There’s always no good reason to get married, although romantic and sometimes it may feel right, just go and live together without all the sanctimony and gibberish our society have designed to make human life miserable.

Turt’s relationship is more complicated than her perception that people don’t have any inclination that she’s gay at first glance. It’s quite tragic since she looks gayer than a three dollar bill.

Dinner made me forget about the Tsunami hitting the Philippines, it was a wonderful dinner with wine and cupcakes. Although I have promised never to get close to wine, I can drink wine with friends.

After dinner we have decided to check out a soft launch of a bar somewhere in MC depot Ortigas. Ella can’t drive since she had a glass of wine too many and Turt was just old, so I drove to the place with Turt’s car.

There we met Beau and a few gay people. We just waited for the other gays to get to the place and we left the soft launch of the bar and went to another bar to drink. The other gays went to O-bar, since we’re not exactly up to see bouncing dicks, we have decided to go back to Ella’s place for some good laughs, fiery and intellectual gay conversations over vodka and Sonja’s cupcakes.

Beau is from Benguet, he said he’s an igorot, if I remember correctly. We were talking about spirituality when Ella said one of her friends asked her what if her next life would be a snail, would getting an orgasm be painstakingly slow?

Veronica: I don’t think being a snail would be bad in the next life. Snails get at least 40 hours of orgasm and then they die, at least I read somewhere, I think. (I’m really not sure about the dying part though)

Ella’s jaw dropped.

Beau: Is that the reason why they’re always wet, slimy and leaving a trail of… goo?

Tim, another gay man was talking about all the men he have had affairs with which lead us to talking about romanticism in the contemporary society. The modern princess as Beau said, would make life easier for the prince by going down from her tower. It posed the question in my head, whatever happened to romanticism? After only a few hundred years, our society has bred the contemporary Princess who is willing to go down from the tower and slay the dragon, go to the castle of the prince and spread her legs.

Romanticism is dead. Beverly Hills killed it and Hollywood made it sappy. Then again, our modern society has made life easier and convenient that one can easily post an ad if one wanted sexual fixations, get picked up in a public restroom and have perpetually violated the bonds of marriage with infidelity. Everything has been designed to be practical and as effortless as possible plus at this day and age, dragons are extinct and life has been so tragic and depressing that people are squirming through their daily lives. Life has become unbearable that others think that magnifying it with romanticism is just insane.

I digress. I believe I’m one of the extinct romantic species in this world (Lightning and thunderclap in the background). The apocalypse is just in time.

 

We didn’t sleep the whole night and left around 9 in the morning the next day after filling up our souls and stomachs. Now it made me realize a lot of things, I should really leave the city to finish my projects and that would mean I would have to quit my current job which would render me to live on the streets.

 

I’m a starving writer and I have a looming deadline, office work is hindering me from finishing my projects therefore what I need is a benefactor who will fund me so I can work full time with my stories and novel. If you are willing to fund me so I can quit my job and focus on my masterpieces please drop me a line and I will show you my portfolios. 

 

After leaving Ella's place I took a few of my stuff from my place in Diliman and went straight to Laguna. I promised Zeus we would go and have a picnic in Nuvali since he feels like ranting about his problems. I slept in the bus and seriously... I didn't sleep the whole day.